halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Is it penis luge time yet?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
