Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize