So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
