I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
