I feel like I'm in dance class right now
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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