sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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