yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
