I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize