I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
