it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
don't judge my taste in strippers
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
