What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
