is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
