I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It was confusing and full of hummus
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
