super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
