i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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