Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He felt like a one man threesome
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
