Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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