I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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