So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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