You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level