I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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