Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.

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  (202): I want to give you a handjob with my mouth. http://tfl.nu/s0yv
  Replies (25) Good night (2052) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..

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  (561): I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho.. http://tfl.nu/ry7a
  Replies (6) Good night (666) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.

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  (402): I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had. http://tfl.nu/opb7
  Replies (54) Good night (9929) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me

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  (716): I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me http://tfl.nu/kh9w
  Replies (11) Good night (629) Bad night (4283)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.

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  (702): think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010. http://tfl.nu/zikd
  Replies (17) Good night (655) Bad night (3298)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door

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  (413): Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door http://tfl.nu/oj7i
  Replies (57) Good night (1506) Bad night (9671)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you

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  (248): Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you http://tfl.nu/8prb
  Replies (7) Good night (1149) Bad night (2751)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  apparently i was cut off before i even walked in

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  (405): apparently i was cut off before i even walked in http://tfl.nu/ukez
  Replies (2) Good night (2300) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is

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  (248): I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is http://tfl.nu/r4l9
  Replies (9) Good night (4301) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.

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  (201): A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns. http://tfl.nu/v0at
  Replies (5) Good night (1325) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

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  (612): Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked. http://tfl.nu/oddr
  Replies (8) Good night (1470) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?

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  (732): Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin? http://tfl.nu/cmet
  Replies (16) Good night (608) Bad night (2798)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?

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  (303): My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right? http://tfl.nu/xxfc
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.

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  (916): I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone. http://tfl.nu/6243
  Replies (0) Good night (404) Bad night (183)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after

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  (602): I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after http://tfl.nu/x9h9
  Replies (0) Good night (402) Bad night (256)

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