Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
