You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants