Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
this must be what syphilis tastes like
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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