dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
