I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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