loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
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