I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
