Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
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Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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