doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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