Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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