Umm I'm too high to move.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
