I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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