NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
