it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
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I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize