well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize