Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Randomize
