I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
