apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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