Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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