I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
