did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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