I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
