I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
