I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
