I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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