just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
