had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
