I didn't shave. On purpose
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
