I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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