I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
