STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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