4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I have demons in me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
