I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
People in love make me want to vomit
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
