sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
