haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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