doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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