My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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