Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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