my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
