My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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