Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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