Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
there's paper in my vomit.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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