Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
