Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
