I just made out with a guy for $7.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
