yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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